Lyrics
All lyrics copyright Professor Fuzz, unless otherwise noted.
CHINESE FOLK SONGS
Dreamy Life Records DLR-014 (2016)
minnie pearl watch over me
it’s saturday night and tom’s lookin’ for its heart
the piano’s drinking in a rundown bar.
me, I’m at home with the radio on
waiting for church to start
me, I’m at home with the radio on
it’s eight o’clock and hank’s singing my songs
“i saw the light” and “your cheatin’ heart”
me, i’m at home with the television on
hee haw’s about to start
me, I’m at home with the television on
it’s after twelve and patsy’s takin’ a walk
the opry stage is quiet and dark
me, i’m at home sleepwatching tv
minnie pearl watch o’er me
me, I’m at home sleepwatching tv
minnie pearl watch over me
minnie pearl watch over me
minnie pearl watch over me
minnie pearl watch over me
van stoner’s stoner van
van stoner he’s the man
driving around in his stoner van
come and get it while you can
from Van Stoner’s stoner van
van stoner he’s the man
driving around in his stoner van
van stoner’s stoner van
van stoner’s stoner van
van stoner van stoner
come on ladies, climb inside
the stoner van and go for a ride
fuzzy dice and a waterbed
aww baby, you’re turning red
come on ladies, climb inside
the stoner van and go for a ride
van stoner’s stoner van
van stoner’s stoner van
van stoner van stoner
rubber burns and ladies squeal
when van stoner takes the wheel
rubber burns and ladies squeal
when van stoner takes the wheel
rubber burns and ladies squeal
when van stoner takes the wheel
van stoner’s stoner van
van stoner’s stoner van
van stoner van stoner
king of hong kong
i was born, i was born in an opium den
the bastard son of grace and sin
i cried, yeah i cried all night long
i’m the king, i’m the king, i’m the king of hong kong
spent my days, spent my nights down on the dock
drunk and stupid, shit out of luck
every night I’m singin’ this song
i’m the king, i’m the king, i’m the king of hong kong
pretty girls, pretty girls all know my face
give me their panties of silk and lace
want me to love ’em all night long
i’m the king, i’m the king, i’m the king of hong kong
eating my dinner at Panda Express
with a China doll in a tight silk dress
fried rice, egg roll, suzie wong
i’m the king, i’m the king, i’m the king of hong kong
woke up this morning I was singing the blues
lost my baby to some bad kung fu
but i’m back up on my feet feeling strong
i’m the king, i’m the king, i’m the king of hong kong
i’m the king, i’m the king, i’m the king of hong kong
i’m the king, i’m the king, i’m the king of hong kong
panda attack!
i went to the zoo to see gugu
i went to the zoo to see gugu
he’s a symbol of national pride
so i climbed the rail and jumped inside
panda attack! panda attack!
panda attack! panda attack!
i jumped in his pen i wanna be his friend
i jumped in his pen i wanna be his friend
he’s a symbol of national pride
so i climbed the rail and jumped inside
panda attack! panda attack!
panda attack! panda attack!
i tried to take his pic but he bit my neck
i tried to take his pic but he bit my neck
he’s a symbol of national pride
so i climbed the rail and jumped inside
panda attack! panda attack!
panda attack! panda attack!
he’s black. he’s white
he’s cute. he bites
he’s white. he’s black
panda attack panda attack!
panda attack! panda attack!
he’s black. he’s white
he’s cute. he bites
he’s white. he’s black
panda attack panda attack!
panda attack! panda attack!
arkansas bride
rolling down the highway with my arkansas bride
in pretty little sundress sitting by my side
running low on fuel, running low on cash
she slipped off her panties and flipped them on the dash
she slipped off her panties…
driving ‘cross I-30 on the way to texarkan’
with my arkansas bride in an eighty-one grand am
she kissed me on the cheek, she kissed me on the lips
she lifted up her hem and put my hand on her hip
she lifted up her hem…
my arkansas bride she’s such a little tease
with the moon in her eye and something up her sleeve
giving me a touch, giving me a show
one hand on the wheel and one eye on the road
one hand on the wheel…
broke down on a backroad I need a can of gas
my needle’s on empty but my bride’s still moving fast
shifting in her seat, shifting through my gears
the safe word is “taco” she whispered in my ear
the safe word is “taco”…
nick cave
where is nick cave?
where is nick cave?
where is nick cave?
where is nick cave?
is he in melbourne, london, or berlin?
is he in new york, or out in hollywood?
where is nick cave?
where is nick cave?
where is nick cave?
where is nick cave?
is he in melbourne, london, or berlin?
is he in new york, or out in hollywood?
nick cave is everywhere
like the wind, the sky, the sea.
omnipresent: no single place.
his hair, his voice, his face.
nick cave is everywhere
like the wind, the sky, the sea.
omnipresent: no single place.
his hair, his voice, his face.
nick cave is everywhere
like the wind, the sky, the sea.
omnipresent: no single place.
his hair, his voice, his face.
krill
it must suck suck to be a krill
it must suck suck to be a krill
one to eat and one to get my fill
it must suck suck to be a krill
we’re all krill in the vast ocean of life
we’re all krill in the vast ocean of life
everybody wants a cheap cheap krill
everybody wants a cheap cheap krill
one to love and one to pay the bills
everybody wants a cheap cheap krill
we’re all krill in the vast ocean of life
we’re all krill in the vast ocean of life
my baby’s dressed baby’s dressed to krill
my baby’s dressed baby’s dressed to krill
one to kiss and one to cop a feel
my baby’s dressed baby’s dressed to krill
we’re all krill in the vast ocean of life
we’re all krill in the vast ocean of life
we’re all krill in the vast ocean of life
we’re all krill in the vast ocean of life
we’re all krill in the vast ocean of life
we’re all krill in the vast ocean of death
goodbye krill world.
trans-allegheny lunatic asylum
immoral life, politics
jealousy and religion
laziness, hysteria
kicked in the head by a horse
kicked in the head by a horse
over action of the mind
my parents were first cousins
superstition, novel reading
political excitement
political excitement
hey hey they put me away
they put me away, they put me away
hey hey they put me away
in the alleghen’ asylum
in the alleghen’ asylum
false containment, gunshot wound
medicine to prevent conception
nymphomania, opium habit
gathering in the head
gathering in the head
egotism, fighting fire
rumor of husband’s murder
periodic fits, bloody flux
fever and loss of law suit
fever and loss of law suit
hey hey they put me away
they put me away, they put me away
hey hey they put me away
in the alleghen’ asylum
in the alleghen’ asylum
feebleness of intellect
self abuse & stimulants
greediness, scarlatina
imaginary female trouble
imaginary female trouble
brain fever, bad whiskey
tobacco & masturbation
vicious vices, business nerves
seduction & disappointment
seduction & disappointment
hey hey they put me away
they put me away, they put me away
hey hey they put me away
in the alleghen’ asylum
in the alleghen’ asylum
they put me away for one hundred years
they put me away to justify their fears
they put me away and said I was insane
they put me away in the trans-aleghen’
hey hey they put me away
they put me away, they put me away
hey hey they put me away
in the alleghen’ asylum
in the alleghen’ asylum
hey hey they put me away
they put me away, they put me away
hey hey they put me away
in the alleghen’ asylum
in the alleghen’ asylum
in the alleghen’ asylum
in the alleghen’ asylum
BANG ME HARD! (TO GET INSIDE)
Dreamy Life Records DLR-037 (2017)
Shitwater TX Blues
When the shit goes down/and the river flows
When the shit goes down/and the river flows
Down in Shitwater TX/you better hold your nose
The toilet’s overflowing/and the water won’t stop
The toilet’s overflowing/and the water won’t stop
Down in Shitwater TX/you better grab a mop
The carpet’s all wet/and it really stinks
The carpet’s all wet/and it really stinks
Down in Shitwater TX/you better have some bleach
Shitwater Tx/I’ve got the shitwater blues
Shitwater TX/I’ve got the shitwater blues
Shitwater TX/Shitwater Blues
three-way tie for dog of the year
she was the pick of the litter
in the year of the cat
a real hot chick
in a real cool hat
she was barking up my tree
i was howling in her ear
three-way tie for dog of the year
she was the pet of the month
in the year of the horse
in a real bad way
from a bad divorce
she was barking up my tree
i was howling in her ear
three-way tie for dog of the year
she was the best in show
in the year of the snake
reeling and shaken
from another mistake
she was barking up my tree
i was howling in her ear
three-way tie for dog of the year
barking up my tree
howling in her ear
three-way tie for dog of the year
barking up my tree
howling in her ear
three-way tie for dog of the year
barking up my tree
howling in her ear
three-way tie for dog of the year
transcendentalhygienist’s lullaby
When you sleep do you dream about me?
When you sleep do you dream about me?
Novocaine ease my pain, novocaine
Novocaine Novocaine
When you smile do you think about me?
When you smile do you think about me?
Novocaine ease my pain, novocaine
Novocaine Novocaine
When you cry do you weep for me?
When you cry do you weep for me?
Novocaine ease my pain, novocaine
Novocaine Novocaine nooooo-ohhhh
Go to sleep my sweet hygiene
Go to sleep my sweet hygiene
Novocaine ease my pain, novocaine
Novocaine Novocaine
Twice a year is all we meet
Twice a year when you clean my teeth
Novocaine ease my pain, novocaine
Novocaine Novocaine nooooo-ohhhh
Novocaine ease my pain
golden tickets to heaven
we met this guy named stevie. he came outer space
said that he would take us there if we gave him some cash
his world made of rock cocaine that we could smoke for free
but if we want to leave this earth money is what we need
stevie hook me up.
i wanna get down.
i wanna get high
my wife and i met jesus behind the kfc
golden tickets to heaven he did give to me
told me i should sell them he did not want them back
we could buy that spaceship ride to the planet made of crack
jesus hook me up.
i wanna get down.
i wanna get high
i don’t care what the police say those tickets are solid gold
they ain’t painted 2x4s that i got from the store
they oughta arrest jesus it was his idea
me i sold the tickets gold and she was just standing there
jesus set me up.
i wanna take him down.
i’ll even wear a wire
It’s not illegal to sell tickets to Heaven
But you can’t sell something as gold when it’s not.
You have crossed the line and broken the law
You, your crackhead wife, and that baby alligator
Are going to have to go. to. jail.
jesus set me up.
i wanna take him down
i’ll even wear a wire [2x]
i’ll even wear a wire.
i’ll even wear a wire
las vegas waltz
she was to be such a beautiful bride
married by Elvis all dressed in white
on her wedding day they got in a fight
her love got drunk and walked into the night
big spinning wheel 550 feet high
big spinning wheel covered with lights
in the lights of the strip he met a new lass
straight from new york the epitome of class
hand in hand the turnstiles they passed
high in the sky he got into her pants
big spinning wheel 550 feet high
big spinning wheel covered with lights
his bride she cried then she took him back
back to texas and back in the sack
but two months later their fairy tale cracked
dead on the roadside a fatal carjack
big spinning wheel 550 feet high
big spinning wheel covered with lights
she was to be such a beautiful bride
married by Elvis all dressed in white
she was to be such a beautiful bride
stripping for strangers for the rest of her life
goodtimespeedlove
o’ blessed virgin of the showroom floor
toss me the keys and hear my engine roar
o’ blessed virgin of the showroom floor
toss me the keys…
o’ holy mother of the straightaway
turn red lights green for me i pray
o’ holy mother of the straightaway
turn red lights green…
o’ sacred sister of the hairpin turn
please grant me money and whiskey to burn
o’ sacred sister of the hairpin turn
please grant me money…
o’ patron saint of the rolling stop
please take the wheel if i meet the cops
o’ patron saint of the rolling stop
please take the wheel…
o’ sweet madonna of the passenger side
slide right on over and enjoy the ride
o’ sweet madonna of the passenger side
slide right on over…
goodtimes / speedlove
goodtimes / speedlove
goodtimes / speedlove
goodtimes / speedlove
sippy cup blues
one alligator two mississip’
mama’s little helper is taking a trip
one alligator two mississip’
mama’s little helper…
come on little baby it’s time to get up
drink your juice from a sippy cup
come on little baby it’s time to get up
drink your juice…
three little monkeys jump on the bed
one went to college and she turned red
three little monkeys jump on the bet
one went to college…
come on little baby it’s time to get up
drink your juice from a sippy cup
come on little baby it’s time to get up
drink your juice…
first second cousin is a four-eyed geek
flashlight reading underneath the sheets
first second cousin is a four-eyed geek
flashlight reading…
come on little baby it’s time to get up
drink your juice from a sippy cup
come on little baby it’s time to get up
drink your juice…
five six seven eight nine ten
wake up every morning and do it again
five six seven eight nine ten
wake up every morning…
come on little baby it’s time to get up
drink your juice from a sippy cup
come on little baby it’s time to get up
drink your juice…
uptown downsville industrial loop
daddy’s little girl’s got the sippy cup blues
uptown downsville industrial loop
daddy’s little girl’s got the sippy cup blues
uptown downsville industrial loop
daddy’s little girl’s got the sippy cup blues
uptown downsville industrial loop
daddy’s little girl…
1992 (leonard cohen’s failed prophesy)
in 1992
Leonard told us in a song
that democracy was coming
but Mr. Cohen was wrong
gone are dreams of jetpacks
and colonies on mars
the money went to CEOs
in the backs of chauffeured cars
buying congressmen and senators
and governors by the score
increasing their profits
from the pockets of the poor
postal clerks and teachers
have become the enemies
while soldiers die in foreign lands
fighting for Wall St
poisoning the water
and dumbing down the schools
bombarding us with lies
on the 24/7 news
sowing seeds of conflict
blaming immigrants
invading third world countries
in the name of self-defense
in 1992
Leonard told us in a song
that democracy was coming
but Mr. Cohen was wrong
freejazzhands
uptown pagans shining their shoes
downtown sinners got nothing to lose
uptown pagans stepping out for the night
downtown sinners picking a fight
impatient waiters working for tips
cognitive dissidents trying to look hip
impatient waiters checking the time
cognitive dissidents undermine
mobile popes driving around
sloppy joe-bobs standing their ground
mobile popes twist and scream
sloppy joe-bobs living the dream
petting zoo keepers heavy as hell
dirtsleep cowboys casting a spell
petting zoo keepers getting bolder
dirtsleep cowboy with a broken shoulder
jellyroll buddha with a hell toupee
standing on the corner with the sister rays
waiting for the man with the free-jazz hands
waiting for the man…
jellyroll buddha with a hell toupee
standing on the corner with the sister rays
waiting for the man with the free-jazz hands
waiting for the man… wait wait man
waiting for the man… wait wait man
waiting for the man… wait wait man
waiting for the man… wait wait man
honey bomb
they call her honey bomb
she looks just like her mom
can hardly tell ‘em apart
they both stole my heart
la la la la la la
la la la la la la la
she’s my little honey bomb (bomb) 2x
she’s got a sweet sweet face
she’s got her favorite place
she’s got inside my head
she’s down at the foot of my bed
la la la la la la
la la la la la la la
she’s my little honey bomb (bomb) 2x
at night she’s on the prowl
and you can hear me howl
o’ my honey bomb
honey, where you gone?
la la la la la la
la la la la la la la
she’s my little honey bomb (bomb) 2x
o’ my honey bomb
honey, where you gone?
o’ my honey bomb
honey, please come home
la la la la la la
la la la la la la la
she’s my little honey bomb (bomb) 4x
bacon waltz
dance with me darlin’
on a Sunday morn.
naked in the kitchen
like the day you were born.
i’ll squeeze your oranges
you’ll puff my corn.
when you fry up the bacon
put your apron back on.
sway with me love
you’re the light of my life.
we’ll cook together
from morn until night.
i’ll frost your cupcake
you’ll knead my bread.
we’ll make some bacon
on the table you spread.
cook with me sweetheart
i need something to eat.
your lips are so spicy
your muffin so sweet.
peel my banana
and i’ll eat your peach.
a redhead with bacon
is all that I need.
dance with me darlin’
on a Sunday morn.
naked in the kitchen
like the day you were born.
i’ll squeeze your oranges
you’ll puff my corn.
when you fry up the bacon
put your apron back on.
Plastic Cup / The World Needs Nevada
On Group Therapy Vol. 4. Dreamy Life Records DLR-042 (2017)
a shining light
a city on the hill
a den of thieves
living for the thrill
a plastic cup
story of my life
a drop of blood
edge of a knife
the rising moon
canyon down below
solitary gull
floating to and fro
a plastic cup
firmly in my hand
the smell of rust
footprints in the sand
a million stars
hair on my head
a breathless sigh
sleeping in my bed
a plastic cup
dropped to the floor
a single smile
another open door
a cloudless sky
raindrops on the ground
an empty house
waiting to be found
a plastic cup
raise it to my lips
a beating heart
no better time than this
the world needs nevada
the world needs nevada
the world needs nevada
Dayglo Legos
Self-Released (2017)
build me a tower up to the sky
guide my soul through the darkest night
my eyesight is dim I’m nearly blind
dayglo legos how brightly they shine
dayglo legos how brightly they shine
fresh tomatoes
baby tornados
brand-new play clothes
dayglo legos dayglo legos dayglo legos
where does my day go?
i have to go to work
where does my pay go?
my landlord is a jerk
where does my brain go?
dayglo legos dayglo legos dayglo legos
fried tomatoes
chasing tornados
leather play clothes
dayglo legos dayglo legos dayglo legos
where does my day go?
i have to go to work
where does my pay go?
my landlord is a jerk
where does my brain go?
dayglo legos dayglo legos dayglo legos
rotten tomatoes
deadly tornados
ripped-up play clothes
dayglo legos dayglo legos dayglo legos
where does my day go?
i have to go to work
where does my pay go?
my landlord is a jerk
where does my brain go?
dayglo legos dayglo legos dayglo legos
where does my day go?
i have to go to work
where does my pay go?
my landlord is a jerk
where does my brain go?
dayglo legos dayglo legos dayglo legos
dayglo legos how brightly they shine
dayglo legos how brightly they shine
dayglo legos how brightly they shine
GLITTER AND FUZZ LIVE!
Self-released (2018)
The Sound of J. Mascis Eating a Burrito
come on, man
let’s get funky
ever wonder what it sounds like when indie-rock superstar
dinosaur junior j. mascis eats a burrito?
this is what it sounds like when
j mascis eats a burrito
he was walking down the street in dallas texas
when he came across tacos y mas
he went inside and ordered a burrito
steak and cheese with extra cheese
and a big ole side of hot sauce
this is what it sounds like when
j mascis of dinosaur junior eats a burrito
this is what it sounds like when
j mascis eats a burrito
come on, j. add some hot sauce
it’s good for you
just don’t get it in your hair
this is what it sounds like when
j mascis eats a burrito
this is what it sounds like when
j mascis eats a burrito
Kirvin Streetman’s Sugar Bride Blues
Dreamy Life Records DLR-063 (2019)
kirvin streetman’s sugar bride blues
kirvin streetman lived on airline drive
in a two room house with his sugar bride
kirvin had secrets he could barely keep
buried in the backyard three feet deep
his sugar bride sure was sweet
lips like candy on kirvin’s meat
on kirvin’s mind she cast her spell
his deepest thoughts to her did tell
kirvin’s ex wife had disappeared
blamed on a drifter with a long red beard
kirvin saved money on his child support
and poured a fresh slab for a new carport
sweet sugar bride knew more than enough
the way to his heart and her way with a gun
a call to the cops and a stop at the bank
filled her purse with cash and topped off the tank
when kirvin hit the ground he was losing his life
next to his car and above his ex wife
the airline house it burst into flames
his sweet sugar bride made a clean get away
the crystal furs sing the best of motörhead
he’s the ace of spades
he’s a motörhead
dance on your grave
’til you’re killed by death
he’s an organ guy
she’s a guitar girl
they’re a twee pop band
they’re the crystal furs
indie pop meets dirty rock [4x]
he’s a bomber, baby
he’s the road crew too
another perfect day
put his snake in you
she’s got tunnel vision
quit you miss hughes
when the summer’s over
gonna capture you
indie pop meets dirty rock [4x]
when the crystal furs
sing the best of motörhead [4x]
nudist buddhist judas priest fan
first thing in the morning
she’s rolling out of bed
going to the beach
she’s banging her head
she’s working on her karma she’s working on her tan
she’s a nudist buddhist judas priest fan
she’s working on her karma she’s working on her tan
she’s a nudist buddhist
she’s cruising up the coast
surfboard in her trunk
hellbent for leather
and airing out her junk
she takes the dharma wheel driving topless in her van
she’s a nudist buddhist judas priest fan
she takes the dharma wheel driving topless in her van
she’s a nudist buddhist
living after midnight
she’s worshipping the sun
she’s breaking the law
and warming up her buns
she’s a naked bodhisattva lying in the sand
she’s a nudist buddhist judas priest fan
she’s a naked bodhisattva lying in the sand
she’s a nudist buddhist
she’s working on her karma she’s working on her tan
she takes the dharma wheel driving topless in her van
she’s a naked bodhisattva lying in the sand
she’s a nudist buddhist judas priest fan
she’s a nudist buddhist judas priest fan
she’s a nudist buddhist
cantaloupe tonight
pickin’ fruit out in california
bought two ladies a beer
told ‘em I’s the nephew of my uncle buck
uncle buck from bakersfield
along came steve in the microbus
and took the blonde one away
left me in the dark with a bright redhead
i run out of things to say
i fell in love with a cantaloupe girl
she had melons as big as her head
i fell in love with a cantaloupe girl
she had melons as big as her head
makin’ love out in californ’
under the stars and the moon
one redhead and a six of beer
thinkin’ i was buck’s nephew
i fell in love with a cantaloupe girl
she had melons as big as her head
i fell in love with a cantaloupe girl
she took me down to her strawberry bed
woke up in the mornin’ red was gone
along with my money and my boots
staring straight in to the rising sun
i saw her daddy about to shoot his gun
i fell in love with a cantaloupe girl
she had melons as big as her head
i fell in love with a cantaloupe girl
i saw her daddy and i knew i was dead
not sure how but i got out alive
with this one thought in my head
don’t go sayin’ you’re buck owens’ kin
just to get a women into bed
i fell in love with a cantaloupe girl
she had melons as big as her head
i fell in love with a cantaloupe girl
she took me down to her strawberry bed
black massachusetts
black massachusetts was a real mean dude
he liked his oil and his women crude
late afternoon mass woke up sick
crying in the bed of reykjavik dick
reykjavik dick was a man of the world
six foot-three and dressed like a girl
dick said to mass, i thought you were dead
tell me how you got that bump on your head
black massachusetts was losing his mind
spinning in space and floating through time
mass asked dick, where have i been?
what do you know about little green men?
reykjavik dick told black massachusetts
about some gals he met in las cruces
mass said, dick, my time don’t you waste
dick said those girls were from outer space
i would literally pay you to take me away
i would literally pay you to leave this place
i would literally pay you to take me away
i would literally pay you to take me to space
bilingual substitute teacher
she says “buenos días” when the kids come to greet her
she’s a bi-bilingual substitute teacher 2x
she says “bonjour” when the kids come to greet her
she’s a bi-bilingual substitute teacher 2x
she says “guten morgen” when the kids come to greet her
she’s a bi-bilingual substitute teacher 2x
she says “saba halkiry” when the kids come to greet her
she’s a bi-bilingual substitute teacher 2x
she says “kaliméra” when the kids come to greet her
she’s a bi-bilingual substitute teacher 2x
she says “ohayō” when the kids come to greet her
she’s a bi-bilingual substitute teacher 2x
she says “zao’an” when the kids come to greet her
she’s a bi-bilingual substitute teacher 2x
she says “good morning” when the kids come to greet her
she’s a bi-bilingual substitute teacher 2x
little miss solar eclipse
sun in her hair, her face like the moon
starry eyes that’ll make you swoon
sun in her hair, her face like the moon
starry eyes…
she’s a bad trip that you just can’t miss
little miss little miss solar eclipse [2x]
a sight so rare she clouds the mind
stare too long and you’re gonna go blind
a sight so rare she clouds the mind
stare too long…
she’s a bad trip that you just can’t miss
little miss little miss solar eclipse [2x]
you know she’s bad but you can’t look away
the sky turns dark in the middle of the day
you know she’s bad but you can’t look away
the sky turns dark…
she’s a bad trip that you just can’t miss
little miss little miss solar eclipse [2x]
she’s a bad trip that you just can’t miss
little miss little miss solar eclipse
she’s a bad trip that you just can’t miss
little miss little miss solar eclipse [4x]
hip priest’s hip replacement
he left the capitol
was a prole art threat
slates and slags
and two etc
hip priest’s hip replacement
hip priest’s hip replacement
hip priest’s hip replacement
hip priest
he drank a long draught
and then he fell down
now he needs a crutch
to get around town
hip priest’s hip replacement
hip priest’s hip replacement
hip priest’s hip replacement
hip priest
you know he got fit
he was working again
he took an older lover
you know she done him in
hip priest’s hip replacement
hip priest’s hip replacement
hip priest’s hip replacement
hip priest
living the lie dream
of a casino soul
a fantastic life
and then he got old
hip priest’s hip replacement
hip priest’s hip replacement
hip priest’s hip replacement
hip priest
dr annebelle lied
dr annebelle lied
dr annebelle lied
dr annebelle lied
drink a long draught down for the hip priest
Jerking a Unicorn
Well they shot Ray Davies in New Orleans
That’s where Alex Chilton’s heart gave out
I saw them pull the plug on Jerk Unicorn
No idea what that was about…
No idea what that was about…
Well they shot Ray Davies in New Orleans
That’s where Alex Chilton’s heart gave out
I saw them pull the plug on Jerk Unicorn
No idea what that was about…
No idea what that was about…
Well they shot Ray Davies in New Orleans
That’s where Alex Chilton’s heart gave out
I saw them pull the plug on Jerk Unicorn
No idea what that was about…
No idea what that was about…
They shot Ray Davies…
They shot Ray Davies…
They shot Ray Davies…
They shot him…
No idea what that was about… 4x
No idea… 3x
No…
last rites of spring
(by professor fuzz and john ramos)
high I am. high I am. I am high.
high I am. high I am. I am high.
last rites. last rites. last rites of spring.
last rites. last rites. last rites of spring.
high I am. high I am. I am high.
high I am. high I am. I am high.
high I am. high I am. I am high.
high I am. high I am. I am high.
last rites. last rites. last rites of spring.
last rites. last rites. last rites of spring.
high I am. high I am. I am high.
high I am. high I am. I am high.
i am the kite….
junk-o man
i am the junk-o man
i am the junk-o man
got a vacuum hose for my left hand
i am the junk-o man
i am the junk-o man 2x
i was made in the old junkyard
i was made in the old junkyard
from rusty springs and crashed up cars
i was make in the old junkyard
i am the junk-o man 2x
my favorite food is smashed up junk
my favorite food is smashed up junk
smash and smash I can’t get enough
my favorite food is smashed up junk
i am the junk-o man 2x
i am a creature nobody has seen
i am a creature nobody has seen
i’m not nice but i’m not mean
i am a creature nobody has seen
i am the junk-o man 2x
i am neither good nor bad
i am neither good nor bad
got a computer inside my head
i am neither good nor bad
i am the junk-o man 2x
Owls
Sister Raygun Records SRR 004 (2020)
owls
who’s that sitting on top of the barn?
who’s keeping watch on the whole damn farm?
who thinks he’s the king of the roost?
tell me who?
tell me who?
tell me who?
tell me who?
that owl’s an asshole!
that owl’s an asshole!
that owl’s an asshole!
owls! owls! owls!
who’s that feasting on a big fat rat?
eyes lit up like a cheshire cat?
who thinks he’s the king of the roost?
tell me who?
tell me who?
tell me who?
tell me who?
that owl’s an asshole!
that owl’s an asshole!
that owl’s an asshole!
owls! owls! owls!
who’s that sitting up in the treetop?
who’s counting licks on a tootsie pop?
who thinks he’s smarter than you?
tell me who?
tell me who?
tell me who?
tell me who?
that owl’s an asshole!
that owl’s an asshole!
that owl’s an asshole!
owls! owls! owls!
that damned owl’s such a smarty pants
if i could fly, man, i’d kick his ass
if i could fly, i’d kick his ass
if i could fly, man, i’d kick his ass
that owl’s an asshole!
that owl’s an asshole!
that owl’s an asshole!
owls! owls! owls! owls!
A Song for Sterling (Who is Otherwise Not Mentioned…)
They drove Jim Morrison’s van
Down to Van Morrison’s gym
They opened up The Doors
They saw it was Them
They saw it was Them
We stole Jim Morrison’s van
Down at Van Morrison’s gym
We broke on through The Doors
We stole it from Them
We stole it from Them
Down at Van Morrison’s gym
We stole Jim Morrison’s van
We broke on through The Doors
We did a moondance
We made some romance
Light My Fire
Brown-Eyed Girl
Light My Fire
Gloria
Gloria
Gloria
Gloria
kill the barbarians
they came across the river
and settled in our land
drive them back to where they came
kill the barbarians
the infirm, women and children
they came without their men
drive them back to where they came
kill the barbarians
we will send our army
to chase them across the sands
drive them back to where they came
kill the barbarians
their backs against the mountain
kill them where they stand
drive them back to where they came
kill the barbarians
kill kill kill
kill the barbarians
kill kill kill
kill the barbarians
kill kill kill
kill the barbarians
kill kill kill
kill the barbarians
love canal
by wilkinson, depace, calderwood, and falconi (soundrights music/reppilf music)
we set sailing floating down the love canal
we set sailing drifting down the love canal
we seem strange our bodies are all breaking down
we seem strange our bodies are all breaking down
we are breeding our children look like monsters
we are breeding not to children but to monsters
we feel pain poison is killing our every cell
we feel bitter poison is killing our every cell
we are dying our common grave is the love canal
we are dying our common grave is the love canal
we set sailing floating down the love canal
we are dying our common grave is the love canal
Sheena is a Soccer Mom
at the age of fifteen sheena went to new york
she spiked her hair then she was a punk
down at cbgbs she saw the ramones
she told her mom she wasn’t coming home
sheena was a punk rock – er
sheena was…
three years later sheena dyed her hair black
got a bat earring and obsidian cat
she spent her nights at the underground raves
dancing to the cramps and fucking nick cave
sheena was a goth gang girl
sheena was…
sheena’s twenty-two when she married bob
a tax attorney and dyed her hair blonde
she’s princess of the burbs – domesticity
she’s got three kids in the little league
sheena drives a mini van now
sheena drives…
sheena sells adderall to moms in town
she’s the head of the milf secrets underground
her husband and her book group don’t know her past
but the yoga instructor really digs her ass
sheena is a soccer mom yeah
sheena is…
she hid her suicide tape and bauhaus shirt
she hides a skull tattoo underneath her skirt
she used to be punk she used to be goth
now she looks so normal and she feels so boring 3x
she looks so normal…
Nadine Codeine
nadine codeine comes in my dreams
spinning swimming in hazy streams
she comes, yeah she comes
she comes, yeah she comes
nadine codeine speaks soft to me
whisp’ring screaming in echos ring
she speaks, yeah she speaks
she speaks, yeah she speaks
nadine codeine laughs loud at me
smiling crying in opiate seas
she laughs, yeah she laughs
she laughs, yeah she laughs
nadine codeine does as she pleases
flying dying warm winter breeze
she does, yeah she does
she does, yeah she does
sweet nadine come with me
sweet nadine come with me
sweet nadine come with me
come with me on the opiate sea
nadine codeine comes in my dreams
nadine codeine comes in my dreams
she comes, yeah she comes
she comes, yeah she comes
Sacrifice
by wilkinson, depace, calderwood, and falconi (soundrights music/reppilf music)
Can’t you hear the war cry?
It’s time to enlist
The people speak as one
The cattle, the crowd
Those too afraid to live
Demand a sacrifice
Demand a sacrifice
Demand a sacrifice
Can you hear them wheezing
Listen to them
Chanting their slogans
The grave diggers song
Demanding a sacrifice
Demanding a sacrifice
Demanding a sacrifice
Can you see the fresh blood
Steaming from the soil
Fathers and mothers
Our patriots and lovers
Admire the military style
Praising god and state
So the nation can remain as cattle
So the nation will survive
And the demand is a sacrifice
The demand is a sacrifice
The demand is a sacrifice
The demand is a sacrifice
Can you hear the war cry
It’s time to enlist
Those too afraid to live
Living as cattle
The masses speak as one
They demand a sacrifice
They demand a sacrifice
They demand a sacrifice
Goin’ Out West
by tom waits (jalma music)
Well I’m goin’ out west
Where the wind blows tall
‘Cause Tony Franciosi
Used to date my ma
They got some money out there
They’re giving it away
I’m gonna do what I want
And I’m gonna get paid
Do what I want
And I’m gonna get paid
Little brown sausages lying in the sand
I ain’t no extra baby I’m a leading man
Well my parole officer will be proud of me
With my Olds 88 and the devil on a leash
My Olds 88 and the devil on a leash
Well I know karate, voodoo too
I’m gonna make myself available to you
I don’t need no make up I got real scars
I got hair on my chest
she looks good without a shirt…
Well I don’t lose my composure
In a high speed chase
Well my friends think I’m ugly
I got a masculine face
I got some dragstrip courage
I can really drive a bed
I’m gonna change my name
To Hannibal or maybe Just Rex
Change my name to Hannibal Or maybe just Rex
I’m gonna drive all night take some speed
I’m gonna wait for the sun to shine down on me
I cut a hole in my roof in the shape of a heart
And I’m goin’ out west where they’ll appreciate me
I’m goin’ out west where they’ll appreciate me
I’m goin’ out west.
Goin’ out west…
Peaches & Herbicide
A PF63 release, in association with Sister Molecule Collective PF63-01 (2022)
van stoner’s stoner van (over the limit)
van stoner he’s the man
driving around in his stoner van
come and get it while you can
from Van Stoner’s stoner van
van stoner he’s the man
driving around in his stoner van
van stoner’s stoner van
van stoner’s stoner van
van stoner van stoner
come on ladies, climb inside
the stoner van and go for a ride
fuzzy dice and a waterbed
aww baby, you’re turning red
come on ladies, climb inside
the stoner van and go for a ride
van stoner’s stoner van
van stoner’s stoner van
van stoner van stoner
rubber burns and ladies squeal
when van stoner takes the wheel
rubber burns and ladies squeal
when van stoner takes the wheel
rubber burns and ladies squeal
when van stoner takes the wheel
van stoner’s stoner van
van stoner’s stoner van
van stoner van stoner
(do the) new plague!
there’s a new plague and it’s going around
there’s a new plague and no one’s safe or sound
there’s a new plague and it’s taking us down
there’s a new plague…
let’s do the new plague! do the new plague!
do the new plague! let’s do the new plague!
there’s a new plague and it’s all the rage
there’s a new plague and it’s all the same
there’s a new plague and it’s the new dark age
there’s a new plague…
let’s do the new plague! do the new plague!
do the new plague! let’s do the new plague!
there’s a new plague and it’s all over town
there’s a new plague and it’s dumbing us down
there’s a new plague and you can’t mute the sound
there’s a new plague…
let’s do the new plague! do the new plague!
do the new plague! let’s do the new plague!
there’s a new plague on your tv set
there’s a new plague on the internet
there’s a new plague and it’s the worst one yet
there’s a new plague…
let’s do the new plague! do the new plague!
do the new plague! let’s do the new plague!
it’s tetanus of the mind and rabies of the soul
it’s tetanus of the mind and rabies of the soul
it’s tetanus of the mind and rabies of the soul
it’s tetanus of the mind and rabies of the soul
let’s do the new plague!
spaceman fist (buzz aldrin’s greatest hit)
there’s a star in the sky it’s called the sun
there’s a man on the moon his name is buzz
there’s a guy on the ’net who says it’s a fake
that’s too much stupid for buzz to take
he’s buzz
buzz
“that’s one small step” neil armstrong said
let’s drink some tang when we get outta bed
there’s a world of conspiracies on the web
buzz’ll put ‘em down with a punch to the head
he’s buzz
buzz
he flew to the moon in a saturn ship
he’s a real live american spaceman spiff
get outta his face with your stupid grift
or he’ll knock you out with his spaceman fist
he’s buzz
buzz
there’s a star in the sky it’s called the sun
there’s a man on the moon his name is buzz
there’s a guy on the ‘net who says it’s a fake
there’s a bad moon lander’s gonna punch his face
he’s buzz
buzz
buzz
buzz
alien tow truck driver
Manzanilla Olive loved a man named Tom
An ice cream socialist with a cherry bomb
Like a dinosaur asteroid they crashed into town
Olive lit the fuse and Tom burned it to the ground
The Princess Hitachi went along for the ride
A hands-on women she was feeling quite alive
Like a shark in a mirage she took a big bite
Hitachi grabbed the keys as they slipped into the night
Crashed out in the backseat Olive dreamed their handiwork
Hitachi at the wheel and Tom’s fingers up her shirt
Like Elvis at a buffet he was going down in style
Olive kept on sleeping and Hitachi cracked a smile
As the rain fell behind him Tom pressed down on the gas
Olive counted money but the deal was closing fast
Like fire hydrant sisters they went off without a hitch
An alien tow truck driver found Tom’s Honda in a ditch
Tom was in the trunk he was killed by Olive’s hand
Hitachi went missing only footprints in the sand
Like objects in the the mirror the end was closer than it seemed
Merrily merrily merrily merrily life is but a dream
Merrily merrily merrily merrily life is but a dream
Merrily merrily merrily merrily…
the ballad of los panchos
Seven guys named Pancho took shelter from the storm.
They left on their rain gear trying to stay warm.
The Panchos grabbed a table and strapped on their food bags.
And when their plates were empty they raised up the flag.
Viva Los Panchos! Seven hungry men.
Viva Los Panchos! Raise that flag again!
Viva Los Panchos! Seven hungry men.
Viva Los Panchos! Raise that flag again!
Viva Los Panchos! Seven hungry men.
Viva Los Panchos! Raise that flag again!
Raise that flag again!
Raise that flag again!
Raise. That. Flag. Again.
the forestry
(lyrics by george spelvin w/professor fuzz, 1981 and 2020)
i’m a tree
in the rocky
i’m a tree
in the forestry
they take my mommy
they take my daddy
they take their branches
they take their leaves
replace them with plastic
from a factory
just look at me
i’m the only
tree
in the rocky
now they’re taking me
timber!
peaches & herbicide
she’s my flower and i’m her bee
sweet sweet fruit hanging from her tree
not a care in the world not a cloud in the sky
i’m drunk on peaches and herbicide
i’m her winter and she’s my spring
cool cool water flowing from her stream
can’t fill the bucket if the well’s gone dry
i’m drunk on peaches and herbicide
she’s my hothouse and i’m her heat
red red blossoms swaying in the breeze
can’t shoot the moon when the sun is high
i’m drunk on peaches and herbicide
reunited and it feels so good
dark dark night in her deep deep woods
her lips got me buzzing like a human fly
i’m drunk on peaches and herbicide
i’m drunk on peaches and herbicide
fire on a chain
I know a girl who has fire on a chain
she rattles my skull, circles my drain
burns out the sun of the new ice age
I know a girl who has fire on a chain
I know a girl who has smoke in her hand
she holds my heels, obscures mountains
darkens the skies of adolescence
I know a girl who has smoke in her hand
I know a girl who has sparks in her shoes
she wrecks my eyes, enlightens confuses
bedazzles the world whenever she chooses
I know a girl who has sparks in her shoes
I know a girl who is water inside
controlled by the moon, diverting the tide
wears down rocks and moistens the sky
i know a girl who is water inside
I know a girl who has fire on a chain
I know a girl who has fire on a chain
I know a girl who has fire on a chain
I know a girl who has fire on a chain
i know a girl
i know a girl
i know a girl
i know a girl
ha ha ha
(by wilkinson, depace, calderwood, falconi [flipper])
Isn´t life a blast
It´s just like living in the past
We go downtown to do our shopping
And we work in suburbia
And I say
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho
He he he he he he he he
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho
He he he he he he he he
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
What is there to do she said
He said come on baby
And i’ll show you a good time
So they went on down
To one of those cheap motels
And they got all gushy and wet
Well I say
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho
He he he he he he he he
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho
He he he he he he he he
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
plastic cup/the world (still) needs nevada
a shining light
a city on the hill
a den of thieves
living for the thrill
a plastic cup
story of my life
a drop of blood
the edge of a knife
the rising moon
canyon down below
a solitary gull
floating to and fro
a plastic cup
firmly in my hand
the smell of rust
footprints in the sand
a million stars
hair on my head
a breathless sigh
sleeping in my bed
a plastic cup
dropped to the floor
a single smile
another open door
a cloudless sky
raindrops on the ground
an empty house
waiting to be found
a plastic cup
raise it to my lips
a beating heart
no better time than this
the world needs nevada
the world needs nevada
the world needs nevada
the world…
AAAlien TTD
Manzanilla Olive loved a man named Tom
An ice cream socialist with a cherry bomb
Like a dinosaur asteroid they crashed into town
Olive lit the fuse and Tom burned it to the ground
The Princess Hitachi went along for the ride
A hands-on women she was feeling quite alive
Like a shark in a mirage she took a big bite
Hitachi grabbed the keys as they slipped into the night
Crashed out in the backseat Olive dreamed their handiwork
Hitachi at the wheel and Tom’s fingers up her shirt
Like Elvis at a buffet he was going down in style
Olive kept on sleeping and Hitachi cracked a smile
As the rain fell behind him Tom pressed down on the gas
Olive counted money but the deal was closing fast
Like fire hydrant sisters they went off without a hitch
An alien tow truck driver found Tom’s Honda in a ditch
Tom was in the trunk he was killed by Olive’s hand
Hitachi went missing only footprints in the sand
Like objects in the the mirror the end was closer than it seemed
Merrily merrily merrily merrily life is but a dream
Merrily merrily merrily merrily life is but a dream
Merrily merrily merrily merrily…
Cinnamon Sea EP
A PF63 release, in association with Sister Molecule Collective PF63-03 (2023)
Cinnamon Sea
she drew me to the cinnamon sea
siren song calling to me
she drew me to the cinnamon sea
her siren song calling to me
woe-oh woe-oh
she swam free in the cinnamon sea
fair white hand beckoning me
she swam free in the cinnamon sea
her fair white hand beckoning me
woe-oh woe-oh
she kissed me on the cinnamon sea
salt red lips burning thru me
she kissed me on the cinnamon sea
her salt red lips burning thru me
woe-oh woe-oh
she sank down in the cinnamon sea
cold dark deep away from me
she sank down in the cinnamon sea
cold dark deep away from me
woe-oh woe-oh
she is a ghost on the cinnamon sea
voice in the waves haunting me
she is a ghost on the cinnamon sea
voice in the wind haunting me
she is a ghost on the cinnamon sea
voice in the waves haunting me
she is a ghost on the cinnamon sea
voice in the wind haunting me
woe-oh woe-oh woe-oh woe-oh
Jazz Wives
jazz wives lead impatient lives
while their husbands improvise / improvise
while their husbands improvise / improvise
no-wave dates they never wait
while their artistes agitate / agitate
while their artistes agitate / agitate
punk rock girls scream at the world
while their black flags they unfurl / they unfurl
while their black flags they unfurl / they unfurl
jazz wives lead impatient lives
while their husbands improvise / improvise
while their husbands improvise / improvise
while their husbands improvise / improvise
while their husbands improvise / improvise
Climax Aurora Has a Seaside Disease
climax aurora has a seaside disease
smashing pumpkin spice girl she does as she pleases
she drives the boys crazy she does nothing but breathe
climax aurora has a seaside disease
climax aurora has a book in her head
some stories to tell after people are dead
she’s called many things and she’s clearly well-read
climax aurora has a book in her head
climax aurora has a seaside disease
smashing pumpkin spice girls she does and she pleases
she drives the girls crazy she does nothing but tease
climax aurora has a seaside disease
Your Call is Not That Important
Your call is not that important to us. Please stay on the line.
the prof.fuzz 63 